The other day, curious as to the sort of search term that could drive traffic to my blog, after finding the search term “etiquette of handshaking for men and women” in my stats, I typed Emyroo into google. Now, I know that user names get poached and reused and the like, but it still did a proper rage on me to see that there were other people claiming to be Emyroo. Back when I registered my googlemail and twitter accounts, I remember being enraged that I couldn’t be Emyroo then too. I had to settle for my Burlesque name, EmyLaRoux*. There may be more Emily Dewsnaps in the world, although there can’t be so many with a name like that, but how could there POSSIBLY be any more Emyroos? Emyroo was the name my mother gave to me when I was teeny tiny. My mother, to whom I am v.close and hold v.dear, is called Ruth. My middle name is Ruth. Emyroo is a combination of phonetics; of the smushing of those two names together – technically, it should be Emiru, but that’s not what my mother chose as her pet name for me. My mother called me Emyroo… so who are all these other buggers who claim to be Emyroo? Unless their middle names are Ruth and their first names Emily… or Emma… or Emlyn (boys name so unlikely to be Emlyn Ruth) and unless their mothers nicknamed them Emyroo whilst they were toddling around in nappies, then I don’t see how these imposters have come across my personal private personal pet name other than on the web. I’m beginning to regret putting my private personal private moniker out there for all to see and abuse. I feel like my mother gave me a present that I loved so much I showed it to everyone and because somebody else wanted it, they bloody well nicked it! I remember something similar happening in the playground with a stuffed hippo cuddly toy in reception year at primary school. It’s totally not cricket, if you ask me.
No I don’t think I’m sodding well overreacting! How dare you suggest such a thing!
So, fake Emyroos of the world… who the hell do you think you are?! Can’t think up your own virtual names, ey eyyyyy?
* Next someone will have nicked that one too. EmyLaRoux… Emyroo the Red, as I like to think of it. For being Emyroo and having red hair! Yes, there’s a damn good reason I’m called that, not just because I thought it sounded pretty, nor because I haven’t the imagination to think up my own usernames.